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Demo 2012

by VACANT

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1.
Pharmacy 01:12
There's rats feasting on my brain, eating away, driving me insane. The anesthetic of life means I can't feel a thing. Waiting emotionlessly for the resulting death this will bring because even if I could destroy them, their rotting corpses will be left behind and the maggots and disease will still warp my mind. I'll never get over this. I'll never truly be well, so why slow down the process? Just let them digest my cells. Reality's plague, rats live inside my skull. They'll eat and they'll eat but they'll never get full. Reality's plague, I can feel them against the bone reminding me that my thoughts aren't my own. Get out of my head. Medication.
2.
Commotion 01:02
People think I don't feel anything, the truth is I feel everything. The truth is I don't know where to begin. I gave this everything except my own skin. I would have if I could I gave this more than anyone should. Get out before this becomes a life sentence? Seven years of bad luck and good riddance? Just because it's not widely publicised doesn't mean I'm not in agony. It doesn't mean the pain that you've caused isn't slowly blinding me. I've wiped away more tears than I care to admit as I pictured my world without this at the centre of it but death is cunning, no use in running. My death is near. Something I don't fear. Death is coming. The idea is stunning. That chill in the air. Death is here. I still think there's something here worth saving but I can't be the one to satisfy that craving. My time is up, a truth that I now bare. My time is up, not that you even care.
3.
Technicolour 01:31
Why why can't you see I don't need anything or anyone to save me. Where where do you get off preaching on the streets? Just stop. How how can you be so sure of something you've never seen and be completely brainwashed is beyond me. There is only one God and his name is death. Don't need your help. Don't offer. Don't need your help. Don't bother. There's a certain comfort in knowing that you can't be saved and there's a certain comfort in knowing that I won't pay for the mistakes I have made.
4.
Acceptance 01:19
I'm not here for a long time, I'm just here for a miserable one so I'm letting the past go what's done in done. This set of skin and bone might be meant to speak intone. This set of skin and bone might just be meant to be alone. Now I'm catching up on just passing time. Viewing others lives through a box instead of living mine. Keeping my thoughts and feelings confined. If you want to know the truth I'm not hard to find. All I'm doing is waiting for death to release me. You never forget your first so I'll make it count.
5.
Living day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year. The end is coming but it's not the end that I fear because I am not invested in this life. I see the world for what it really is. A spinning, turning, churning cesspool of death, despair and disease. Something's coming, always leads to nothing. Old enough to know better, young enough not care. Clinging and grasping onto hope that was never there. I have never been so frustrated in my whole entire life.
6.
Epiphany 01:43
The yellow tint, the blank staring covered faces looking into my eyes. The sedative triggers my muscle memory, numb from years of permanent goodbyes. Never to regenerate, the nerves that were severed. Nothing lasts forever. This feeling of nothing lasts forever. I was 15 years old when I realised I was completely insane. It took me till roughly 10 years later to realise that we're all the same. Our prayers will never be answered inside the staving. Nobody is coming to save us because we all need saving. The beat of the drum, calling me. The gates of hell, haunting me. I give up.

credits

released August 22, 2012

Music & lyrics by VACANT.
Recorded & mixed by Stephen Caffrey & Naomi Macleod at Storm Studios.
Mastered by Francesco Gatti at Storm Studios.
www.storm-studio.eu

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VACANT Dublin, Ireland

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